Have to, choose to and alignment with your true nature
Learned this thesis some time back from Mary Lore, celebrated author and VISTAGE speaker (h/t to Mary). In a nutshell, "each time you think or say have to, change it to choose. See what happens.
As I travel, I often come across admonitions like "I have to do this" or "I have to do that."
As in, "I have to have a talk with Charley about his poor performance."
Instead, try this. "I choose to have a talk with Charley about his poor performance." Note the subtle difference in mindset. Confident. Inspired. Empoweirng. And finally, in natural alignment with your true leadership potential.
Mindfulness. I know it is your intention not to blame, criticize or be judgmental. Carnegie taught us the diminishing returns of such an approach in his seminal work "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Sounds like a cliche, and in the end, we all want to be victors and not victims.
Legend: "h/t"=hat tip